The reason why I am not enthusiastic about the self improvement techniques from some of the Western authors

Some of the Western authors stress too much upon the concept of “I” in their lectures and writings on what they call as “Self-Improvement techniques”, “Path to Achievement” etc. Their concept of achievement is itself misunderstood or ill-conceived as they focus only on superficial achievements. They always talk about the self, what a self can do for itself etc. If everyone starts focusing on themselves, then the concept of “self-less” service would soon vanish. A mother would think twice before rearing kids and a kid would think three times to take care of its sick parents. A lot of real life examples are available about the ill-fate of kids of highly successful parents because they could not spare time for their kids. In a way these authors are misleading because the real achievement in life is forgetting the “I” and getting dissolved in to the oneness of the universe. The real happiness is not in achieving or getting all material things that we want but by forgetting ourselves in the service of “LIFE in general” or GOD or MANKIND. Life is not all about achieving what ever we dream about ourselves but helping others to achieve theirs. The real happiness is not being happy but being able to make others happy.

Also, the real happiness lies in accepting things on hand, what is given to us and not in getting dissatisfied with them trying to change them because it is like waging a losing battle. The peculiar aspect of mind is that it either gets satisfied or it never gets satisfied at all. So if some one says that he would be happy the moment he gets a million, please bear in mind that he says it in ignorance. The moment he gets a million, his mind would prompt him to go for a billion. The fundamental aspects of life remain the same irrespective of whether one lives alone on his own luxurious island or with a group under a thatched roof. Any relentless pursuit of selfish material aspects will lead to strong dissatisfaction. The actual road to achievement begins from the moment we accept our life and be contended with what we have in terms of material possessions and start working on the path of self-realization, maximising the potential of mind and working on what it can achieve. Most of the great leaders and noble souls whom the world still remembers have lived a FULL life for others. Had they lived a life for themselves they would have been forgotten even by their own progenies. The real conquers in life are not in winning over people, money or material but winning one’s own EGO, PRIDE, ANGER, JEALOUSY and all those related qualities.

In an universe which is loosely hanging in space, in a solar system which is constantly rotating and revolving under a strange force amidst so many flying objects, on a planet’s surface which is surrounded mostly by water and finally on a land mass which is constantly under the threat of tremors, man’s life is completely shrouded with uncertainty. Is it not foolishness to think about permanence of life and to fight for whatever we can in the name of achievement? The attitude of man in facing his life should not be like “Let me enjoy the maximum I can because life is uncertain and short”. It should be like “Let me serve others to my level best possible”. Only when man overcomes his survival instincts and begins to act beyond its influence, he gets nearer to godliness and only that can be termed as the ultimate achievement.

The myth of positive thinking and discourse by western authors

There is no dearth of books on the subject of “positive thinking”. Any book written by any author is a best seller, atleast in the U.S. I doubt if there is so much of negativity out there though the country tries to put up an image of a Super power that can save the Earth from any catastrophe. To better understand this mentality of theirs, please watch movies like Armageddon etc. Returning to the subject on positive thinking, I honestly feel these western (and even some copy-cats from other parts of the world as well) authors are very naïve at the subject, especially if one gives even a cursory glance to the magnum opus from India, the “Bhagavad Gita” and then read their books again. Some of its prominent concepts like “Soul and Body are separate, soul is born again and again and takes different forms” and “Do your duty and do not bother about the results”, sums up “LIFE” and how we must approach life to lead a life filled with positive energy and happiness.

What is being repeated in these books is how to respond to particular situations or incidents in life and not a holistic and comprehensive approach to life. It is like advising people to control anger without looking in to the background factors that lie behind “Anger”. When one tries to address the background factors like materialistic affinity, Ego, Selfishness to name a few, “Anger” will be phased out of life as a side effect. The emphasis should be to address the cause and not the effect. For example, Ego is the cause and Anger is the effect of being egoistic. Any suppression of a negative feeling in the name of adopting positive thinking will only lead to an eruption at a later point of time.

On the other day, I was almost moved to tears to see a poor old man in his seventies, carrying his handicapped grand daughter on his shoulder who was blind, deaf and was suffering from polio attack. I cannot even imagine talking about the western concept of positive thinking to that gentleman. I wondered if any of those authors or their books can create any positive thinking in that gentleman unless they were able to answer his most fundamental questions of life, as to why on earth he was suffering like that.

The question here is how we react to those situations where we feel injustice is being done to us, though to our conscience, we have not done any wrong and hence we don’t deserve it. Some events happen to us in our lives, the reasons for which are beyond our comprehension. The truth is that there is a meaning to our lives and suffering and this meaning will remain beyond our comprehension unless we make an attempt to know it. I am sure whatever logical thinking that has evolved in the western world until now is still lacking to understand this meaning. Even the top most scientists are still struggling to answer the question of “WHY” about life though they claim to have answered some of the “WHAT”s and “HOW”s. The eastern thought of soul being separate from the physical body and that a soul will be born again and again until its “karma” is relinquished is the best closest logic to understand this. It makes sense to account for the good and bad of our previous lives to understand today’s suffering. Otherwise everybody should be born equal in terms of all aspects. All our lives and karma are interlinked. The goal of this life should be to realize this and take measures to minimize or eradicate the bad karma. If we start pursuing the goal, we will not even think about positive thinking! Ofcourse “what is good and bad karma” is a separate topic and needs another article!

Man and Religion

I wrote a small poem beginning with a query ‘if God made Man or Man made God’. The poem goes on to quip that Man indeed made God because there are so many forms of God today, causing endless troubles in the name of religion to the creator himself, the Man. Why is man so religious and why are there many religious wars and skirmishes? When I ponder deeply on the evolution of God and the associated religions to where we are today, I think it all started when Man started wondering about the superiority of devastating natural forces and bigger wild animals. Realizing his limitations, he simply accepted their supremacy and deified them. In the process, he started performing certain rituals in order to pacify them and to invoke their blessings for survival. All these rituals and beliefs were codified and passed on to his generations to come in the name of religion. This basic form of religion can be found to be still alive in some of the tribal people who are yet to come out of survival mode and who have not yet been corrupted by the modern man.

Once Man settled down by means of agriculture and domestication, he could subdue most of the wild animals but not the natural forces. Hence natural forces continued to find a place in his concept of God. The intelligence in Man also grew in this period to a greater extent that he started questioning the supremacy of the natural forces and if there is further a superior force to reckon, which actually controlled everything. Though the most intelligent realized that God is formless and he is one (Monotheism), the ordinary could not conduct their day to day life without some form of God. Man found it difficult to worship God without a symbol and thus even the realized individuals themselves became objects of worship and thus subjects of conflicts. In all religions, it has been a practice to deify some people who lead exemplary lives showing a direction to the common man’s life and in whom the ordinary mortal found Godliness.

There are many religions that originated at different places and at different times but interestingly all the major religions of the world are monotheistic. Each religion started drawing a lineage of Saints, emanating from the God himself and culminating with a “Saint” whom they believed to be the last messiah of their faith. Most of the religions spread on the basis of violence, suppression and elimination of other faiths though a few others grew by tactically embracing smaller faiths along with their gods and demigods in to their fold. In this process they transformed to be polytheistic (though ideologically remaining monotheistic) and thus grew too comprehensive and complex to understand.

With the advent of modern Science, all the religions need a strong correction in terms of their beliefs and practices! While religion has to be considered as a means to realize God, the end, the irony is that man is more obsessed with the means, the differences and hence all the unrest. What Man has failed to understand is that while there have been numerous instances of demolition of places of worship, massacres in the name of religion and many other atrocities done by him in the name of religion, God never seems to have actually appeared and stopped him. Is it not weird? It is high time man starts re-thinking about his understanding on religion and God! We have enough things to worry about our survival and let us keep atleast Religion out of it!

Life is all about Problem Solving

Life is all about Problem Solving and the smartest are those who solve their problems with the least amount of energy and resources being spent. The greatest among those smartest are the ones who stretch out to solve other’s problems as well. While almost all of us eat and sleep to solve our basic problems of hunger and tiredness, there are a few amidst us, ignoring the basic ones, yearning to solve the ultimate problems of existence, evolution etc. Whatever the problems are, there are some of us who choose to solve them, some trying to avoid them, some more wishing to forget them and there are some more that choose to live with them just because either there is no solution or atleast they think so. There are some people who get carried away by others’ problems and involve in it deeply losing their own happiness and there are some smart managers who delegate all their problems to their gullible subordinates and lead a blissful life.

It is a myth that problems can be solved completely because most of the problems are always recurring and only some instances are solved. Infact there are some problems that continue to exist as long as life does. Psychologists may wish to call problems as needs and wants and Spiritual thinkers may prefer to call needs and wants as problems!

The important question is how do we solve our problems and incase some problems are insolvable then how do we handle them. Incase we choose to solve a problem, how much of time and energy do we spend in order to solve it? Do we create more problems by solving one or do we actually avoid many impending ones by solving one. There are many guidelines to the problem of problem solving itself and there are three important ones that we should always bear in mind. The first among them is to ascertain if there is a real problem at all or is it only perceived. Most of our problems are in our minds and don’t exist really. The next one is identify where exactly the problem is. Have you read this joke in which a “Sardar”, without knowing that his thumb is injured, complains to a Doctor that his entire body is paining whenever he touches it with his thumb? Infact most of us are like him, in the sense, we don’t realize that we are the reason for our problems in most of the cases but we blame others and the environment for the same. And the next step is to find if the problem is affecting others as well. If so, it is better to join hands and solve it than struggling alone.

One of the main characteristics of a great Leader is his ability to solve problems of his group. History is replete with heroics of great people who even gave their lives in solving problems. Interestingly there are also examples of some self- proclaimed Leaders who have invented problems, justified their existence and wasted time, money and energy in solving them (only to complicate them further) just to keep up their leadership by creating fear psychosis in their subjects. One question that we should constantly ask ourselves is why do we always look outside to solve problems? Is it because of the classical conditioning or lack of correct understanding or the lack of courage to face it? Having said all this, Life is all about gearing ourselves always to solve problems or atleast reducing the number of instances if we don’t have control over their occurrence.

How much can you stretch physically?

There are so many of us who wish and dream a lot but somehow lack the will to take steps to make them a reality. How can we build this so called will? Well, there could be many ways of building one’s will like getting in to tough mental exercises, reading a lot of self help books and so on. But the point is that somewhere we have to get going. If you are not a sports person (and if you are not the initiated), then the real medicine is to have simple physical stretch goals and keep stretching the goal itself as and when you keep achieving it. The goal can be anything from touching your toes without bending your knees to running a mile or jogging. Jogging can be really a demanding activity and one really needs to jog in order to better understand its benefits with respect to building or enhancing one’s will. (Better check your fitness before hopping on to such activities). When one pursues such a goal daily, it brings in not only a sense of accomplishment which is more tangible, but also a lot of motivation. This kind of physical stretching equips one with the tenacity to stretch mentally and walk the extra mile, be it at home or work. And the spin off is good digestive system and doing away with bottles of “Digene” or “Himcocid”. When such a physical activity is being taken up as a family, it only serves multiple purposes. Infact, many of the Top management executives pursue some form of physical activity (ranging from running to playing tennis) to improve their perseverance and may be this quality of stretching is what keeps them on the top.

The topic assumes much importance in today’s context. The change in lifestyle (& job style) has rendered us unfit not only to run a mile but even to climb a flight of stairs. A typical morning queue before the elevator at office is a real testimony to this. Even at a relatively young age, many of us are bestowed with symbols of prosperity (big bellies to name one), an add-on benefit of fat pay packets. A quick glance (without venturing in to statistics) at today’s workforce would reveal how the “resources” (or the workforce) are grossly out of shape and lacking physical vigour. To put it simply, most of us cannot stretch! Added to this, the height of comfort that we have at home (from coffee maker, water heaters to automated shoe polishers), one hardly needs to move a hand or shake a leg before landing directly on the revolving chair at one’s desk. Even mild form of routine physical activities can ward us off from fatigue and boredom, helping us to gain the much needed spirit. Playing games in the weekend (like Shuttle cork) can be a very good energising activity to recharge our battery and it incorporates the winning spirit which is very much needed in today’s rat race. It adds to the glow in the face as well.

I remember a short story that I read when I was in the School Primary. A rich man, suffering from digestive disorder, visits a doctor on his horse cart. The Doctor, a shrewd man, examines him but insists that he will disclose the medicine only to the cart man. The rich man, surprised, returns to his cart but the cart starts off without him and he ends up reaching home running behind it. The story goes on that after reaching home so tired, he has a sumptuous meal, thus realising the importance of physical activity. A Sound mind dwells in a sound body and there can be no two different views about it. So, the question is “How much can you stretch physically?”.

உறுதி கொடு

பூவை கனியை பறிக்க பறிக்க
சற்றும் மனம் தளராமல்
பூத்துக்காய்த்துக்கொண்டே இருக்கும்
செடியை போல

கிளை வேரை வெட்ட வெட்ட
சற்றும் துயர் அடையாமல்
வளர்ந்து கொண்டே இருக்கும்
மரத்தை போல

ஆதாரத்தை மாற்ற மார்ர்ர்ர்
சற்றும் சலிப்பு அடையாமல்
கிடைத்ததைப்பற்றி முன்னேறிக்கொண்டே இருக்கும்
கொடியை போல

எதை இழந்தாலும்
எது நடந்தாலும்
எது மாறினாலும்
முன்னேற மட்டுமே சிந்திக்க செயலாற்ற
உறுதி கொடு
இறைவா!
இறுதி வரை உறுதி கொடு!
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நகுலன்

விதைத்ததெல்லாம் முளைப்பதில்லை

விதைத்ததெல்லாம் முளைப்பதில்லை
முளைத்ததெல்லாம் வளர்வதில்லை
வளர்ந்ததெல்லாம் பூப்பதில்லை
பூத்ததெல்லாம் காய்ப்பதில்லை
காய்த்ததெல்லாம் பழுப்பதில்லை
பழுத்ததெல்லாம் பிழைப்பதில்லை
பிழைத்ததெல்லாம் விதையாவதில்லை
விதைத்ததெல்லாம் முளைப்பதில்லை

வாழ்க்கை என்னும் நாடகத்தில்
அடுத்த கட்டம் யாரிடத்தில்?
என்ன நடக்கும் எது நடக்கும் என்று
தவறவிட்டார் பொன்னான நாள் இன்று
வருந்துபவர் உணருவதில்லை
உணர்ந்தவர் வருந்துவதில்லை
இறை எதுவாயினும் சேர்மின்!
நிறையான வாழ்க்கை கொண்மின்!

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நகுலன்

பெண் சிசு வதை

பயிர் வளர
மண் ஒரு துணை
மனித இனம் பெருக
பெண் உறுதுணை

பெண் சிசு வதை
மனிதன் தனக்கிடும் சிதை

அர்த்தமின்றி பெருகும்
உயிர்க்கொல்லி நோய்
சத்தமின்றி கருகும்
இளம் பயிர் பல சேய்!

உடல்

உடல் உயிருக்கு ஆதாரம்
உண்மையில் மிகப்பெரிய பாரம்
உடல் இன்றி உயிர் என்ன செய்யும்?
யாரும் அறியார்
உயிர் இன்றி உடல் என்ன ஆகும்?
யாவரும் அறிவார்
உடலின் பெரும் பாகம் அறிவோம்
உயிரின் ஒரு பாகம் கூட அறியோம்

உடலை இய்க்கும் உயிர்
உயிரை இயக்குவது கர்ம விதியோ?
இல்லை இறைவனோ?
இல்லை அவனின் பிரதிநிதியோ?

எப்பொழுது உடலைப்புகும்
எப்பொழுது உடலைவிடும்
தற்பொழுது அறியான் மனிதன்
முப்பொழுதும் அறிவான் புனிதன்
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நகுலன்

உலகம் ஒரு நாடக மேடை

உலகம் ஒரு நாடக மேடை

உணர்ந்தவர் நிச்சயம் ஒரு மேதை

உள்ளளவும் ஐயம் இல்லை

உண்மையே அன்றி வேறு இலலை

தன்னில் தன்னை உணர்ந்த முதல்

தன்னை முற்றும் உணரும் வரை

ஒவ்வொருவனும் நடிக்கிறான்

உண்மை உருவை மறைக்கிறான்

எதை எதுவிடமிருந்து காப்பாற்ற

உலகிற்கு எதை பறைசாற்ற

மனிதன் நடிக்க முயல்கிறான்

முடிவில் மீண்டும் மீண்டும் உழல்கிறான்

என்ன இழக்கக்கூடாதென்றும்

எதைப் பெறுவதற்காக வென்றும்

மனிதன் சாயம் பூச நினைக்கிறான்

முடிவில் சாயம் பூசப்பட்டு தவிக்கிறான்

மண்ணில் விழுந்தவுடன் அழுகை

பரிதாபம் பெறுவதற்கான செய்கை?

உண்ணுவதும் உறங்குவதும் சில காலம்

இன்னொரு முறை ஏமாறும் ஞாலம்?

முதலில் பெற்றோரிடம் பயிற்சி

பிறகு மற்றோரிடம் முயற்சி

சந்தர்ப்பங்கள் கொஞ்ச நஞ்சம் இல்லை

வெட்கம் கூச்சம் கொஞ்சமும் இல்லை

கண்டதை காணாதது போலும்

கேளாததை கேட்டது போலும்

உணராததை உணர்ந்தது போன்று

அறியாததை அறிந்தது போன்று

நடிப்பதில் தன்னையே மறக்கிறான்

உண்மை வெளிவராதென்று மகிழ்கிறான்

உண்மையில் ஒருவன் கணக்கு எடுக்கிறான்

கணக்கிற்கு ஏற்ற படி மறுபிறவி கொடுக்கிறான்!

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நகுலன்

எது சைவம் எது அசைவம்?

சிறு வயது முதல் நான் சைவம்
எக்காரணம் கொண்டும் உண்ணவில்லை அசைவம்
பள்ளியில் கற்றிருக்கிறேன்
பெற்றோர் சொல்ல கேட்டிருக்கிறேன்
அசைவம் உண்பது ஆகாது
மற்றொரு உயிரை துன்புறுத்தல் கூடாது
காய் கனிகள்
மற்றும் கீரை வகைகள்
அரிசி பருப்பு கோதுமை
பால் தயிர் வெண்ணை நெய்
இவையே பிரதான உணவு
உயிர் வதை இல்லை - மன நிறைவு

மண்ணை உழும் ஏர்
மடியும் உயிர் பல நூறு
நட்ட நாற்று நன்றாக வளர
சாகுபடி மேலும் வளர
மூட்டை மூட்டையாய் எரு
போயிற்று பல உயிர் தெரியாமல் உரு
பயிர் வளம் உயர
களை பல மடிய
ஒவ்வொரு தானியமும்
காயும் கனியும்
உண்ண உணவும் ஆகிறது
பயிரிட்டால் விளைச்சலையும் பெருக்குகிறது

பிராணிகளுக்கென்று ஒரு சட்டமா?
தாவரங்களெல்லாம் என்ன மட்டமா?

குழம்பியது என் மனம்
எது சைவம் எது அசைவம்?

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நகுலன்

சுவாசிக்கும் காற்று வேறு இல்லை

சுவாசிக்கும் காற்று வேறு இல்லை
எண்ணம் செயலில் வேற்றுமை இல்லை
பிறப்பில் இறப்பில் மாற்றம் இல்லை
மனம் போகும் போக்கில் பேடகம் இல்லை

உண்ணும் உணவில் வேற்றுமை உண்டு
புறத்தில் நிறத்தில் வித்தியாசம் உண்டு
மொழியில் பேச்சில் பிரிவு உண்டு
மதத்தில் இறை நம்பிக்கையில் வேடகம் உண்டு

இறைவன் மனிதனாய் உருவெடுத்தான்
அன்பும் அறமும் போதித்தான்
போதனையின் சாரம் அதை மறந்த மனிதன்
அவ்வுருவை தெய்வமாக்கினான்

மதங்கொண்டு மதம் படைத்தான்
அவ்வேற்றுமையால் பல போர் வளர்த்தான்
குணம் கெட்டு மதியும் இழந்தான்
இறைக்கு தன்னையே இரை ஆக்கினான்

இறைவன் எங்கும் எதிலும் உளன் , சொன்னவர் பலர்
உன்னிலும் உள்ளான் அவன், இதை நீ உணர்
எல்லா உயிரிலும் அன்பு செலுத்து
இறையை சேர்வது உன் தலை எழுத்து

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nakulan

எண்ண அலைவரிசை

ஒரு நாள்
பூங்காவில் நான்
கரம், வானொலிப்பெட்டியுடன்
சிரம், வானத்தை நோக்கி
சிந்தனை உலகச் செய்திகளுடன்
எனை மறந்து நடந்தேன்....

ஒரு புறம்
யுத்தத்தின் மேல் உள்ள பித்தத்தால்,
தற்கொலைப் படைகளின் தாக்குதலால்
மனிதன்
மனிதத்தை அழிக்கிறானே என்றும்

மறுபுறம்
புயலினால்
மழையினால்
வெயிலினால்
பூகம்பத்தினால்
எரிமலை வெடிப்பினால்
பூமியை சீன்றும் இயற்கை
மனிதனின் ஆதிக்கத்தை
சோதிக்கின்றதே என்றும்

வருத்தம் சித்தத்தை தாக்க
சற்றே நடந்த பாதையை நோக்கினேன்

தாங்கள் அழிக்கப்பட்டதை
சிதைக்கப்பட்டதை
வேரோடு பிடுங்கப்பட்டதை
தெரிவிக்க இயலாமல்
உள்ளே அழுது
வெளியே வாடிக்கொண்டு
மடிந்து கொண்டிருந்த
பூக்கள்
செடிகள்
பூச்சிகள் மற்றும்
பல சின்னஞ்சிறு உயிர்கள்

ஒரு நொடி
மனது வருத்தம் கொள்ள
மறு நொடி
அதனால் என்ன?
நமக்காக தானே இவைகள்
என அறிவு எடுத்துச்சொல்ல
வானொலியை மற்றொரு அலைவரிசைக்கு
மாற்றினேன்
வீட்டை நோக்கி நடந்தபடி!

---------------------------------------
நகுலன்

(Ab)use of resources

One morning, after I brushed my teeth, I realized that I had left the wash basin tap open for a long time and thus wasting considerable amount of water. Suddenly I recollected my childhood memories, how as a family, we had spent water very cautiously (with a miserly attitude). We could not afford a “bore well” then and so our house had no overhead tank and taps. Every morning we would fetch water from the well (with a rope and bucket) in turns, for the whole day. My Father, who grew up in a village, had to walk a long distance daily along with his brothers and sisters to fetch water for their daily needs, as the house in which grew up did not have a well. Because of this, he would take utmost care in using water so as to not to waste it. He was very particular that we followed him, and so he used to instruct us to fetch water from the well ourselves, though we were young! It is still fresh in my memory how I and my sisters would line up at the well to draw water and manage to brush our teeth with each one of us having only a mug full of water to spare. For bathing, we had the luxury of a bucket full. Because of the effort that we had to put in to fetch water from the well, we had no choice but to use it carefully. My thoughts were disturbed when my four year old daughter went in to the bathroom for morning ablutions. I silently observed her and she was unmindfully wasting water as much as she could. When I told her that water should not be wasted, she shot back saying that why should we mind as it was flowing from the taps 24/7. It took me some time to explain to her about the water scarcity problems that we face and hence we should not waste water.

Just then my brother, coming back from a nearby shop after purchasing some essentials, threw the keys of the scooter on the dining table. This again took me to my childhood times when we were forced to plan our purchases as we had to either walk or ride a bicycle to go to shops. Today with the luxury of bikes and scooters, we really don’t mind to waste petrol as there is no physical effort involved.

I was wondering how we, as human beings, take certain things for granted and do not question ourselves when we abuse some resources just for the reason that they are available aplenty. My mind was so much occupied with that thought throughout the day that I switched off lights and fans when they were not in use, before leaving for office. Also, on my way to office, I switched off the engine of my scooter while waiting at the signal. I consciously climbed the stairs to my office on the second floor convincing myself that I would take the lift when I was too tired to take the staircase. These days the newspapers and TV channels are replete with news about the global warming and its disastrous effects. There are so many measures suggested by experts to switch over to alternate fuels and so on, to save the Earth. But not many people really seem to bother about controlling the urge to abuse resources. It is time to focus on simple yet vital measures on hand rather than waiting for some divine intervention. Only if we take a conscious decision today to make “use of” and not to “abuse” the natural resources, there will be some natural resources left for our heirs and some heirs left to read our history.

The disease of “Hypocrisy”

One day I was watching a news channel at home before leaving for office. A “flash” news on conviction of some Members of Parliament for accepting bribe, caught my interest. Wondering why these people were always expecting something more than what they are entitled to, I stepped out of home to hire an auto rickshaw to reach the nearest bus stop. The Auto driver bargained for almost double the fare citing hike in petrol price. I had to budge and gave him what he demanded as I had to hurry to office. I boarded a bus, got the ticket and the conductor did not give me the balance 50 paise citing he did not have one but I could clearly see that he had some coins left. Since I did not want to lose energy over a 50 paise coin, I kept quiet. After reaching office, I ran up the stairs to reach my cubicle on the second floor. When I dropped in to my boss’s cabin to wish him, he was on a personal International call from the office telephone at his desk. Then I went to the coffee machine to catch a coffee, where I overheard a couple of my colleagues complaining about the pay structure and the reduction in a variable component during that month. Hailing from an industry in which salary is always bloated and decided by sheer market forces and not by individual competence alone, my colleagues were still complaining about what was amiss.

Finally I started the day at my desk and found out that I had to print an official email. I went up to the printer and found that it was busy printing a document running in to a couple of hundreds of pages. When I flipped over the pages, I found it to be of somebody’s University project work and upon close scrutiny, it was clear that it bore the name of my colleague’s spouse. I frowned and came back to my desk only to observe my counterpart repeatedly disconnecting calls in his mobile. He told me that it was his mother he would call back from the desk phone. Some time later I dropped in to the finance department to submit some bills where I found an associate being questioned about some fake hospitalization bills that he produced. During the day I observed that some more facilities like fax, scanner and Internet were all being (mis)used by the employees for personal reasons citing various justifications. It was a startling revelation to see that how many of us try to get something done for free. While some of the cases could be really urgent and might have reasonable justifications, the rest merit none. This happens with all, despite their level within the organization, including some from the senior management. I could recollect one of my old bosses who would send back his official car daily for his family’s use, after reaching office (Petrol bill being footed by Company) and would also claim some vehicle bills without actually spending.

This habit of getting something done for free or misusing the facilities that we are entitled to is present in all of us in varying proportion. Only when the intensity of the habit is high and also when it comes to public, we all join hands to criticize a common victim (like a political figure), blissfully ignoring what we ourselves do. Given an opportunity almost everyone one of us are ready to exploit for personal benefits and tend to remain hypocrites, as all our small acts of “crime” go unnoticed most of the time. When individuals change, it influences the entire society. Let us try to bring the change in us.

The Art of Giving

We are always happy to receive something for free from others. Aren’t we? Is there any happiness in giving away our things to others? While even the thought of receiving a trivial gift gives us immense pleasure, the thought of parting with something does not seem to bring any happiness in our mind. Some of us are willing to give away ā thing or two to others but then there might be some expectations in return. We even expect our donations (to charitable institutions etc) to fetch us some Income tax relief. Incidentally, I remember our neighbour who always seems to be very nice to the watchman of our apartment and offers him coffee, food and some other things. But then, the neighbour makes sure that he gets all his errands and domestic help done by the watchman. Not much needs to be mentioned about politicians, who blatantly give away freebies to their voters, we know what for. Interestingly, there are some of us who are willing to live with many of the old stuff for ever, occupying huge space at home, only to be bequeathed unwelcomingly for generations to come. I remember one of my teenaged cousin, who has archived all his text books, homework notebooks, first bicycle, childhood toys and what not. I think that we hoard so many things at home; unmindful of the fact that, some of that stuff should find its way out to the needy and some other might better remain in the shelves of shops (there would have not been a real need to purchase in the first place).

I have always wondered what motivated people like “Karna” of Mahabharata fame, who gave so much to people, and King “Sibi”, who gave his own flesh to help a pigeon. There must have been some blissful feeling about it. The other day I was cleaning my cupboard to make way for some new clothes and after much pondering, I finally decided to give away (to get rid of, so to say) some old clothes which were not fitting me anymore and also they had lost their sheen (and some buttons too). Without the knowledge of my women folk at home (because they usually exchange all old clothes for new vessels for future generations), I walked down the road to give the stuff to someone who really needed it. I approached ā poor family who lived on the platform and hesitatingly offered them, doubting if they would accept old clothes. Almost snatching away the bag from me and with their eyes gleaming in happiness, they thanked me profusely and “blessed” me with ā long life. For ā moment, I experienced ā kind of strange “happiness”, a feeling which I never had before. I could not imagine how they would have reacted if I had bought them new clothes of their own choice. Only then I discovered that there is certain happiness in giving things but then we need to experience it in order to realise it.

I hold a friend of mine in high esteem, who always says that we should give away only those stuff which are in ā usable condition and also it is better not to give things to known people because we might be reminded of our gesture whenever we meet them. The wise sage Thiruvalluvar, who wrote 10 poems (kurals) on this subject, has said in one of those “To give to the destitute is true charity. All other gifts have the nature of ā measured return”. In today’s world, it is almost impossible to play a “Karna” or “Sibi” and practice the art of giving but we can definitely emulate them in our own way by parting with those trivial things, atleast to save some space at home!

God or Chance?

Several years ago, I went on ā pilgrimage along with my Parents and two sisters, one of whom was handicapped, to some of the Vishnu temples in Andhra Pradesh. We were hailing from Chennai and we could not speak “Telugu”, the local language. It was a weekday and we were heading for ā temple of Lord Ram at ā scenic place called Badhrachalam, located on the banks of river Godavari. We did not make any reservation for hotels or lodges at Badhrachalam (I don’t recollect if that place had such facilities) in advance; as we thought we would reach the place on time and can manage with some adhoc arrangements and also with the thought that sincere devotion will find us a way.

Since it was the interior parts of the state, people could not understand Tamil and English and so with some difficulty we finally boarded the right bus, sometime in the afternoon. We did not have any clue about the arrival time at the destination as the fellow passengers and the bus conductor could not understand us (they were typical villagers). It was almost 9.30 in the night and nervousness crept in as the thought about reaching ā new place at an odd time with no one to help, brought fear in our minds. When I looked around for help, I noticed a young man waking up and I tried my luck with him. He somehow managed to speak in (broken) English and told us that the bus would reach only by 11.30 pm or so. We were almost in tears as we did not have any food to eat and also since boarding was not finalised. But the person understood our plight and offered us his place to stay for the night, stating that we could trust him in the name of God. We thanked him profusely and agreed to stay with him.

He spoke to us in a very friendly way and we understood from him that he was a bachelor from some other part of the state and was returning to work in Badhrachalam, after a brief holiday. Infact, he was supposed to have travelled the previous day but then due to some reasons could not do so.

Though we had agreed to stay with him, there was doubt and fear in our minds and the thought that there were three ladies (and gold jewels as well) with us only added fuel to the fire. When we arrived at the destination finally at around 12 in the midnight, we could see that all shops and establishments had closed. With no choice left, and prayers on our lips, we followed him. It was a pleasant walk in the cold of the night but we found it tedious because of fear. He cleaned up a room in his house and brought some food in no time even at that time of the night. Explaining the way to the river and the temple, he bade us good bye saying that he would leave very early the next morning. We woke up in the morning and set our journey to the river and then to the temple, thanking the good soul and God for sending him to us rescue.

Now, the intriguing part in the story is that the person’s name was “RAMA RAO” and so was the presiding deity’s name. We were convinced that God had sent him (with his own name) to make sure that we were being taken care of (he was destined to travel with us to help!). It might be debatable whether it was God or sheer chance that helped us but there is a famous saying in Sanskrit which means that “God takes a human form” to help his devotees. For believers, it is god who helps us in difficult times and for others it is destiny, chance etc. Whatever it is, good thoughts and faith definitely come to our rescue in distress times!

Oh God! Please reboot the Earth!

Yesterday night, God appeared in my dream, seeking my help. I was very excited but then he was looking worried really. When I asked him what was bothering him so much, he told me that he did not know how to save the Earth, his favourite creation, from the unending problems imposed by Man. He said that he had tried some solutions to instill fear in the mind of man in the name of Global Warming, Climate Change and rising sea levels but there was no change in the state of affairs. He felt that things will come to a grinding halt very soon and he was deeply thinking on how to fix the problem. As a novice “trouble shooting engineer” working for a leading IT firm, I did not take much time in identifying an instant solution to his problem. In extreme cases when nothing seems to work, I shoot the “Bramastra” to my customers - “Please reboot your system” and then I re-install the required applications if required. God roared in to a big laughter listening to my solution. That was when my Mother woke me up as I was getting late for office.

On my way to office, I gave a serious thought to my dream and the solution I proposed. Comparing the Earth to a huge “Server”, as a part of the vast data center (Universe), with large amounts of data (reserves of natural resources) and the living beings to Personal Computers (PCs) of varied configuration (man being the most intelligent and within mankind, disparity being more), connected to it to download necessary data for survival. Ofcourse, the network and the infrastructure are outsourced to God, the third party service provider. May be, that is why mostly he is not reachable. The less intelligent species (Plants, Animals, and Insects) do not congest the network and download only what is required to survive for the day. The most intelligent species, Man, because of his greed, has been drawing more than what is actually needed by him. Some, who have been blessed with a higher configuration and more bandwidth, download as much as possible. There is no willingness to share what has been downloaded with other fellow beings, and the network is always congested, the infrastructure strained, thereby blocking others from downloading what they need. That is why most of the time, the rest are not connected to the server and even if they are connected, the page that they try to reach is not displayed.

Knowing that the data is available eternally and being replenished by the natural system, man still wants to download as much as possible and store them in “his hard-drives”. Sometimes, misquoting survival instincts, he goes to the extent of even abusing and exploiting other’s PCs (malicious attacks) to download resources for him and his family. Suffering from Greed, he is in a hurry to download everything in one single day, rather than replenish his quota as and when needed. The virus of Greed has already spread to almost all the other machines and it is slowly spreading to other servers spread across the data centre (space explorations). May be I should have advised God to see the bigger picture and change his motto to save the data centre and not the server alone! Oh God! Atleast start the task manager immediately. May be this will free up some resources. But then it will only be a fix and not a solution. It is better to reboot!

What are strengths and weaknesses?

There are several books that one can read on the above subject that list the techniques on improving strengths and getting rid of weaknesses. But do we really know what exactly are Strengths and Weaknesses and how to handle them? Whenever we possess a quality that is in excess of a normal range then that quality is construed as either a strength or a weakness. For example, when a person possesses a high level of Intelligence Quotient (IQ), then “high IQ” is construed to be his or her strength. Likewise, if a person is short-tempered and gets provoked by even minor issues, then “excessive anger” is considered as his or her weakness. Physical qualities are normally inborn and may not be always changeable but psychological qualities, though mentored and shaped over a period of time by many factors, are definitely malleable. Also, some qualities like IQ are easy to measure but qualities like endurance are hard to measure and are only known over a period of time.

Pair of Opposites

For survival purposes we have been bestowed with all necessary qualities and we must consciously manage them to lead a good life. All the qualities are present in varying proportions and it is up to us to realize how much we possess. Like the Universe which is filled with matter and antimatter, these qualities always exist in opposite pairs in us, for example Anger & Composure, Intelligence & Stupidity and so on. That is why we find the same person behaving differently in different situations. That means a quality becomes a strength or a weakness based on a situation and hence, no quality can be assessed in absoluteness. “Time” was long believed to be absolute until Einstein proved it to be relative. Likewise, Strength and Weakness are also relative. For example, though being small in size, a grass survives a cyclone whereas a tree which is much bigger gets easily uprooted. Hence, “being big” is not always a strength and “being small”, not always a weakness.

Right Qualities for the Right Role

Whenever we do not possess a quality, it only means that we possess the opposite quality in excess. The pair of opposite qualities is always complementary and hence many times we need to suppress a quality to give way to its opposite pair to better manage personal and official life. For example, let us say, “Getting in to the details” is a quality. An Analyst must possess more of this quality than a Manager for effective functioning. A Manager on the other hand must look more in to the broader picture than going in to the details to better manage. Hence it is the role that determines which quality is to be possessed and at what level. It is certainly not a weakness of the Manager if he does not go in to the details as he is not expected to.

What should we do?

We must choose a career that best suits our qualities to really excel in it. It is imperative that we spend some time pondering over our inner self and list all the qualities that we think we possess. The feedback received from others should also be considered in this exercise. Depending on the role that we play (in family, workplace, society etc.), we must analyze the qualities and decide which one to improve and which one to keep under control. It is quite easy for strengths to deteriorate into weaknesses but it really requires a lot of discipline, hard work and endurance to transform weaknesses into strengths. Success cannot delude us once we know what to achieve and where we are with respect to the desired set of qualities and when we earnestly carry on with the steps to fill the gaps. In this fast changing world we need to constantly improve upon our strengths without giving room for complacence. As long as we realize that we do not possess the desired level of some qualities and take adequate measures to improve upon, we need not be repentant, as we are already on the road to success.

What should we not do?

A skill acquired by a person over a period of time translates to “strength”, but only if the person continues to get a platform to exhibit the skill will it make sense to possess it. So it is foolishness to brag on one’s strengths at any point of time, as life keeps throwing tricky situations every now and then, which may call for a new quality altogether or an improved version of an existing quality. Sometimes excessive possession of a quality does not prove to be beneficial and that is why we find many over-confident and brilliant people losing out. Their assumptions and preconceived notions take them nowhere. We should not compare ourselves with others and worry about others’ strengths because we all have different goals to achieve and after all success and happiness are defined by us.

A short story………

In a story popularized by Sri Ramakrishna, a learned scholar shows his pride and strength of being “a learned man” to a boatman, on a ride across the river. The boat man realizes his weakness for being illiterate and feels sorry for it. Soon after, there is a disturbance in the river leading to the capsizing of the boat. The boatman’s swimming skills help him to swim across to safety, whereas the learned man drowns as he could not swim.

The Land of the Netherlands

The land of the Netherlands,
water hardly below the lands,
A land, by virtue of strong dikes,
and almost inundated with bikes,
Stripes of water amidst the land,
Indeed land and water hand in hand
It is banal to talk about its canals,
for they are deep in its annals
Numerous old big windmills,
making up the absence of hills?
Strikingly beautiful Tulips,
The fields filled with too many colourful lips!
Here, it constantly rains,
occasionally the sun shines
Attractive are its parks and museums,
on which one can pen symposiums
Its capital, Amsterdam, symbolizes prosperity,
not to miss, also its notoriety
Its people known as the Dutch
so is the language, the Dutch
Biking hard, the Dutch grow tall,
from high standards they hardly fall
They may starve without bread and cheese,
they holiday in the mountains on skis
How they speak is strange,
conversation filled with rage,
To anything there must be consensus,
Their discussions, blunt and lacking pretenses
Holland covers a small part of the world,
But their airlines, KLM, covers the rest of the world!

Human Life and River Water

Human Life and River Water
Both have an odyssey to cover
Emanating from a womb,
culminating in a tomb
nothing they own
yet claiming all that is sown
lot of momentum initially
toned down gradually
early days, boisterous
later days, treacherous
when the path is rough
life is always tough,
a number of lives met
with some, relation set
more in the downstream
less in the upstream
but no one till the end
each one till some bend
To everything there is a bind
and nothing out of the mind
The entire journey, a sojourn
and dying...only to be reborn?

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Nakulan

'நான்' எங்கே?

கரு சுமந்து
உரு கொடுத்து
பாலூட்டி
சீராட்டிய தாய்

உயிர் கொடுத்து
ஆசானாய் இருந்து
வழி நடத்தி
சபை நிறுத்திய தந்தை

பிழை பொறுத்து
அறிவு கொடுத்து
பண்பு வளர்த்து
உதாரணம் காட்டிய ஆசான்

இடம் கொடுத்து
இல் அமைத்து
பேரு வழங்கி
ஆசி அருளிய இறை

இம்மூன்று குயவரும்
அவரைப் படைத்த தூயவரும்
உருவாக்கிய பொம்மை இங்கே
தேடியது அந்த 'நான்' எங்கே?

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நகுலன்

எது உயர்ந்த தவம்?

இமய மலையில்
சம்மணம் இட்டு அமர்ந்து
கண்கள் மூடி
முடி வளர்த்து
ஊனை வருத்தி
உலகரியாமல்
கிடப்பது மட்டுமல்ல
தவம்
எடுத்த காரியம் எதுவாயினும்
அது முழுதும் நிறைவேற
சித்தம் சிறிதும் விலகாமல்
பசி தாகம் மறந்து
கடமையே கண்ணாக
இருப்பதுவும்
தவம் தான்
அதுவும்
தன்னலம் பாராமல்
பிறர் நலம் பேணி
நன்மையே எண்ணி
செய்யும் ஒவ்வொரு செயலும்
சிறந்த தவம்

இவ்வகையில் தாய்மையே
ஒப்பற்ற தவம்!
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நகுலன்

Oh my mother!

Oh my mother!
This is your toddler
Re-searching motherhood
After venturing in to parenthood!

To me,
You are an embodiment of all, God inclusive
Your life full of sacrifice
Yet standing tall as an edifice

Like a tree, I stand proud of myself
Forgetting my roots, deep in yourself
For you nourished,
Else might have perished

It was my foolishness
Wasted two good years to study business
Missing a management guru
That is you

Ironically, loved you more after getting married
When your daughter-in-law carried
An Offspring
Of your own fledgling

Oh! How difficult is parenting
A task definitely demanding
I am referring to your grand daughter
I know, in your mind there is laughter

So gentle you have been to me all these years
Though I have, many times put you in to tears
Now, I realise your value, my mother
The pleasure of being onshore, I don’t bother

It is told that life is brief
But without you it is full of grief
I have two kids to rear
You are the second one dear!

Sreeram Jaganathan
sjsreeram@gmail.com

How to be better off with our better halves?

Why it is that most of us are always unhappy with our life partner? Why do relationships fail? What are the sore points in a relationship? What can be done to save relationships? This article looks at some of the reasons for the failure and also on how to recover before the “point of no return”. The measures for solving problems with relationships are always small and minor but then it requires a great amount of discipline and sincerity to adopt them.

“The Honey moon period is illusory unless….”

The primary aim of each of the Partners, in the honey moon period is to win the love, trust, and attention of the other or in other words, to impress each other. So there is mostly harmony and agreement as the period is completely shrouded with false feelings and reactions. The end of the honey moon period usually brings out the real characters and harsh realities in the relationship, leading to disagreements and an unpleasant life. The honey moon period must include some sensible engagements, (in addition to sensual) like understanding each other’s aim in life, how can one support the other and so on.

“I expect this from you”

What happens when someone fails to meet the expectations of his or her partner? It leads to discontent in the relationship. How many of us honestly question ourselves if we fulfilled our partner’s expectations? Is it not a right of our partner to expect something from us? Is it not our duty to meet our Partner’s expectations? It is good to talk about this to our partner and figure out what exactly is the problem and more importantly we should constantly question ourselves if our expectations are fair. “Pure Love” and not “Expectations” must be a basis for building relationships.

“You listen to me first”

“The Ego is our greatest enemy” and it plays a crucial role in the way we connect ourselves with the external world. A Person with an “I-Know-everything” kind of attitude will find it tough to listen to any advice from anybody, leave alone his or her partner. It is more important to know what is being said rather than who said that. Healthy discussions leading to frank and fair exchange of opinions must form part of day to day life. An Egoistic person suffers from a partial deafness and it prevents him or her from accepting that which affects the ego. “It is your job” Working Indian women bear the brunt of handling pressure from both family and personal lives. One of my former women colleagues used to wake up early in the morning everyday to attend to all the domestic chores besides taking care of her. She would not get much help from her husband and would invariably end up coming late to office. It is imperative that both the partners participate and share responsibilities life’s daily domestic compulsions rather than ending up directing each other. In today’s world, no job at home can be earmarked for any gender, especially when both the partners are working.

“My goals are important”

It is important that the partners acknowledge and support each other’s goals in life. It is still a failure if only one of the partners succeeds in their goals. When Partners are in the same field of interest, it is quite easy to have supplementary goals. Sharing of motivational thoughts and quotes can be a small but significant step in helping each other. After all a person succeeds not because of his efforts alone but also because of the adjustments, sharing and caring of his partner. The moral support and motivation coming from a loved one carries multifold value and makes a lot of difference.

“I have a problem with you”

Unless we admit that we are part of the problem, we can never solve it amicably. This is truer when it comes to problems with relationships. If one of the partners feels that he or she has problems with the other then he or she should spend time to understand if the other partner person has any problem in turn. All problems can be solved by plain and frank talking. The couple must spend some time out together to thrash out any real and ‘seeming to be real’ issues. Likewise, feedback can be sought on a periodical basis until a thorough understanding emerges in a relationship. Most of the time, problems are initially small but they snowball in to a huge mess when not weeded out at an earlier stage.

“Complement and Compliment”

Life is an excellent journey for the couple who complement each other. We need to take our partner along with us in the journey by playing a complementary role in the relationship. Working couple can plan their days off in such a way that all the important personal work can be shared efficiently. Complimenting is a simple gesture but it goes way beyond in lifting the morale of a person. A gentle appreciation for the food prepared brings in more happiness in the family. It should be cultivated as a habit to appreciate and compliment one’s partner, ofcourse it must be from the heart and must be genuine as well.

“Accepting them as they are”

After committing in to a relationship, if a doubt arises in our minds whether we had made the right choice or not, we should drive away the doubt with more conviction in the Partner because for every beautiful or talented person (outside the relationship) that we come across there is yet another person who is even more beautiful or talented. It is good to focus on the person that we have chosen and avoid comparing with others. We should treat him or her as God’s gift and engage positively with him or her (As you sow so you reap).

Sreeram Jaganathan
sjsreeram@gmail.com